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irrational dude of leisure life is a used car lot and everyone is either a cheesy car salesman or a tire kicker
I think of a lotta things in a very twisted way a lot....ya see, really, everything in life is a sales pitch....a good picture, an appetizing description, a bargain price....yadda yadda yadda....I heard somewhere once that it doesn't matter whether the glass is half full or half empty....it's subjective....it all depends on whether yer drinking or pouring....so when ya read someone's post, or write one, or shoot out an email, or respond to one someone sent ya, it's all about I-I-I, me-me-me and you-you-you....and I say ya-ya-ya, who gives a fuck....it's all about that idealized image in our heads either of ourselves, the perfect partner, or both....so what I end up sending out is a blurt of irrational shit of pretty much anything that is likely to turn off whomever the recipient is....this struck me wednesday as I was watching a show on the outdoor channel....swat magazine tv....the whole premise is directed towards the tactical community that takes itself all too seriously....they're highlighting the great qualities of some trainer guy and follow it up with a bunch of back to back one liner interviews of guys saying how great the guy is...."he's so great, you'll learn how to save the world"....and that's where the absurd shit pops in my head...."he can pick thru the corn in your shit and tell ya what state it was grown in"...."he can hump your cat and tell ya the grades on your kid's report card"...."he's so awesome, he can lick yer dog's ass and tell ya what time it is"....a glimpse into my twisted mind....ya, I really have no edit button and if I think the shit is funny, I'll throw that crap at anyone....but that's just it, that's how pretty much all of this reads to me....just somethin funny floating thru my head the last couple days....I like to share....LOL
These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox
With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy
Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy
-- Brad Paisley --
things to consider if you respond:
- I bit my lip 3 times last night chewing nicotine gum....sometimes I think it'd just be easier to keep smoking
- I find politics amusing....if everyone hates them, why do they re-elect the same ones more often than not?
- I voted for Obama because he's black....so far I'm not disappointed....he's still black
- I've seen a lot of concerts....but not so much lately
- I'm currently getting in touch with my inner hick
- being a hick is way less stressful and easier on the wallet
- there have never been kids on my payroll and never will be....it's christmas all year long to me
- I don't have any family to speak of, so I won't speak of em....and you'll never be forced to spend time with them
- my place resembles a mini sporting goods store....mtn bike, kayak, backpacks, fly rods, gun stuff
- I like shooting....load up, go blow the piss outta some bowling pins, pick up the brass, go home, reload....rinse and repeat
- if you need a reason for why I like shooting, be prepared to explain why girls need a dozen pair of shoes and why bathroom trips are social occasions
- I'm in no hurry in life....I'll go a great distance for entertainment, but work is just a paycheck
- I'll never ask you to clean my toilet....just like I'll never consent to picking up dog shit
- I'll tell ya "I love you" and mean it....if you say you're "FINE", mean it and don't administer the silent treatment
- I'm like an attractive size 8-12 range....to me, big boobs just means big girl....I'm not attracted to beach balls
- I don't care for talking on the much....makes my ear sweat....generally stick to text or email messages
- I like uncomplicated and low budget things....I often leave for the woods on a whim
- don't snore loudly....sleeping next to that is maddening
- every guy has an inner pervert....learn to love it

how's that....ya happy now?
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you will be dressed as a ghost (preferably a simple sheet with holes cut for the eyes and mouth). ill leave the door unlocked and you will walk into the entrance way, remove your sheet, and hang it on hooks provided above the lounge door (the first door on the right), strategiy placing the mouth hole at rod height. insert penis and then knock twice. i will then open the door and proceed to lick your rod. once i finish, i will close the door, you will replace your costume and carry on your way.

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