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Fuck woman in utah. Been married for over 20 yrs. Once we said "I do" he changed. For about 15 yrs he was a heavy drinker, staying out sometimes til noon the following day. Stopped drinking when I told him to get out after a DUI. Physiy abusive to the while I would be at work, until they got bigger than him; now is directed at me. Verbal but it has come close to physical at times. He's lost or been fired from jobs over the years. His only comment about being jobless was that I'd have to work more OT. Tells me that he works 40 hours a week now and shouldn't have to help around the house. I cannot talk with him. He turns everything into an argument, leaving me in tears. This has been going on for the last 7+ years. When my were about 4 yrs old, he told me that I didn't do anything for him sexually because seeing my body during pregnancy was so bad. I kept trying, but he got to the point where he couldn't even "get it up". Yes, I got big with the babies (twins) but am a size 7 with a 42" natural bust. I have plenty of men show an interest but not have a fling due to my morals and beliefs. So, no sex in my house for over 13 years and we stopped sharing a bedroom about 5 years ago. I stayed because my begged me in tears not to divorce him because everyone at school was from a broken home and they wanted 2 parents to come home to. Now the biggest problem. I recently had a back surgery and am totally dependent on everyone because of a full body brace. Cannot return to work for at least another year and things are worse. He has told the he's looking for an apartment which leave the household with no income. The verbal has reached it's peak, although there are times few far between where he try to be nice to me. I have asked him times to go for counseling, or marriage counseling, but he always says I just want someone to say that I'm right he's wrong. My graduate after this year and I think it would be best if I just left myself.. I do not want to stay in the same part of the country at this point. What can I do, though, being in a body cast with no income? Any advice would be appreciated, but please no snide comments. My heart is hurt enough by someone I once loved enough to, I don't need to be hurt by strangers. Thanks.
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