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ITHACA, NY - Earlier this month researchers at Cornell University's CISER laboratory published an article in the bimonthly publication AIR detailing dating probabilities in Ithaca, NY. The study was part of an initiative to provide information to the local community on population growth. One major finding of the study suggested that women aged 30 and older have virtually no chance in Hell of finding a decent date in Ithaca.
Following the press release, the national media picked up this story. Rush Limbaugh was quoted as saying, "Well of course women in Ithaca can't get dates. It's a liberal town. They're all hippies and feminists. And as we all know, Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream."
From amongst the public outcry one Ithaca woman has taken a stand. "I'm in my thirties, but I believe that I can still get a date, a decent one at that," an anonymous woman from Ithaca decried. However researchers disagree: "Attractive, intelligent, sexy; these are all qualities that will get a woman a decent date in a place like NYC," says Dr. Reg Greshun of Cornell's ISL. "Unfortunately for this Ithaca woman the numbers don't lie."
"I've always been up for a challenge," counters the woman who feels that her looks, personality and intelligence all being of high quality will not turn her into just another statistic. "There are single men out there. I want to have fun and take my chances. Just let's hope there are men out there that feel the same."
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